Operation Bridesmaid Diet

Well....one of my dearest friends is getting married Dec. 31st. I have the distinct honor of being in the wedding party. On one hand I am sooooooooooooooooo super stoked and excited to share in this day with them. On the other hand I am terrified that I will be the "chunky" bridesmaid once again. I have been a Maid of Honor 3 times, a bridesmaid twice, read in one wedding, and took pictures of guest for another wedding. With all of those experiences I have been overweight and uncomfortable in not only the dress, but my own skin. I am tired of that feeling. It is easy for those on the outside to say...well then just change. Take control. I laugh even now at how easy that sounds but acknowledge just how hard it is to do. My "relationship" with food began in the 5th grade. I know this because that is when everything in my young life seemed to change. In addition to the awkwardness of puberty, I was on the cheerleading squad which brought a lot of drama. I was in advanced classes but my grades started to slip. Things at home were too much for a young girl to handle alone. Though I found comfort in keeping a diary....my other source of false peace came from food. When things were going well food was a reward. When I felt I had zero control over things and needed to feel good....I turned to food. Now 24 years later I am so bound by this relationship that I feel I have no where to turn. Confident only in the fact and truth that the Lord is my strength and that my weight and habits do not honor Him...I desire a change. There are too many things I want to do. I want to climb rocks, run marathons, ride comfortably in a rollar coaster. And those are just the adventurous things I want to do. I want to know what it is like to walk into a store and know that I can easily find a size. I want to wear cap sleeved blouses. I want to be in a pool without a cover up. I want to know that if I am trapped in an elevator that I can be pulled through the small opening in the top. (I watch way too many movies.) So....operation Bridesmaid diet kicks into effect today. I have 193 days to lose 40lbs. Will this be easy. NOOOOO!!!! But...I have to make this decision. This is my plan....no fast food. Because I have heard that you must allow yourself at least one day of ...whatever....I am declaring Thursdays as my day to treat myself. I will exercise at least 30min a day and then watch it increase over time. Not only am I not going to go without fast food, I must say farewell to two of my closest friends...dough and nut. Parting will be such sweet (no pun intended) sorrow. We shall say adieu until Thursdays. (Not promised but allowed.) So....I shall post at least three days a week to track progress. 193 days. Wow. To say that I would covet your prayers is more than an understatement.